Cat Fancy

Anyone with cats will appreciate this...

So, my friend Gloria is a bit tender-hearted. So much so, that she invited a friend who was down on her luck to stay with her. However, there was a problem; her friend is allergic to cats, and Gloria has a cat named Fred.
So, Gloria asked me if I would watch her cat so long as her friend stayed with her. I said, "Sure, no problem." This last Saturday, Gloria brings over Fred, a black cat. Right there, we know there's no good luck in this.
I buzz Gloria into the building, and I can hear fried crying in his carrier the entire way up the stairs. I greet them, and Gloria sets down the carrier in the living room and opens it. Not having had cats for several years after the deaths of my own little furballs, I have a bedroom window open.
Fred comes out, still crying, and begins wandering around the apartment and into the bedroom. Gloria and I are chatting while Fred noses around, and then we realize we can't hear crying anymore.
We look around. No Fred. Look in the closet. No sign. Look out the window. Gone. Fred has vanished, like out of an episode of "Without a Trace."
Gloria is a little concerned, but leaves not in such bad shape. I canvass the building to make sure Fred hasn't gone down my fire escape into another window. No dice. I ask the super if he's seen Fred. Nope, not a whisker.
Now, I'm panicking. I text Gloria, who really starts to come unglued at this point, thinking her cat went out my window, onto the street, and out into the cruel city. She e-mails me flyers promising a reward and asks me to post them. Naturally, as I now feel like The Worst Friend on Earth, I comply. They have a cute pic of him and Gloria's info. I also hunt down my neighborhood cat people (every nabe has them) and tell them to be on the lookout. Fred as an RFID chip, so I call the vet and tell them to be on the lookout. Pleasantly, I get to see my neighbors, who are, for the most part, boisterous Dominicans, in a new light, as they all assure me they're keeping an eye out, that pets are like family, and that they'll certainly grab Fred when they see him.
This morning, I put up some more flyers, but have already mentally admitted defeat. If he high-tailed it out my window, he could be anywhere. I go about my day, head downtown, and prepare for a morose evening at my zendo.
Just before I get to the zendo, an amazing text comes through my phone, from my wife, Joy. FRED HAS BEEN FOUND!! "Where?!" you ask? IN MY FREAKING CLOSET!!!!! He never left the apartment!! SInce Saturday afternoon, he's been hiding in there, without making a sound! As I write this, he's STILL in there!!  I can't wait for him to come out so I can kill him myself!
There it is; a story about the love-hate relationship we all have with our aloof little furball overlords. Nothing like "owning" a cat to make life more interesting.